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Suzanne Uttaro Samuels's avatar

My aunt has been keeping a diary since the mid-1960s (!) and she’s talked about how she’s let everyone know that when she passes (she’s 91!), she wants them destroyed (unread). I love this.

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

And what is your family thinking? Will they/you follow her wishes? I don’t think I could. Honestly.

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Suzanne Uttaro Samuels's avatar

lol. Yes. Honestly, I’m not sure. We shall see.

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

I’ve been conducting lots of interviews with folks who say the same—this is so fascinating to me! If you think she’d be up for an interview (for this space or just informational) please let me know!

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Ruth Abrams's avatar

This was delightful! There is nothing I love more than seeing and hearing how others write and use notebooks. Also, I bought My Salinger Year last week and started reading it last night- what a joy !! And, this dress in the picture is STUNNING! Very Vampire's Wife esq.

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Ruth, it actually IS Vampire’s Wife (RIP). I almost wore it to see Nick Cave last night (of course!!!).

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Ruth Abrams's avatar

Oh!! Even more fabulous. RIP indeed. I'm hoping your substack Books and dresses might signpost to a good dupe. I'm yet to find. Anyway- loving, LOVING, My Salinger Year ❤️

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Ruth, I can’t tell you how much this means to me!!! You’ve absolutely made my day!!! (And I do have some thoughts on dupes! None are of the same quality but not the worst either!)

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Ruth Abrams's avatar

I'm only about 40 pages in but Don is giving me proper anxiety!!! I'm going to bed early to read on. God I can't wait for your launch- there is nothing better than books and dresses (aside from perhaps also pens, notebooks and lipstick).

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Lynn Bonsey / Hilary Eyestone's avatar

I so enjoyed this! I kept a very detailed diary from the late 60's into the 80's and several years ago I started sending funny snippets to my daughter Hilary, who used to joke that when i retired she was going to exploit me and my diaries online, which, with my collaboration, she has done. I love hearing how other writers explore their lives and feelings in their journals and how they use their contemporaneous accounts as the underpinning for their writing. Can't wait to read more interviews!

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Oh my gosh, that’s amazing!! I would have swooned if my (very private, not reflective, kinda mysterious) mom did this!! How did your daughter respond????

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Lynn Bonsey / Hilary Eyestone's avatar

Unbeknownst to me, she started sharing my some of my silly comments with a group of friends, and then she starting urging me to share bits of my diaries on other platforms and it's snowballed from there. We are having a lot of fun with this! Thanks for asking!

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

Wow, that’s lovely—your lucky daughter!

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Lynn Bonsey / Hilary Eyestone's avatar

I'm the lucky one...always dreamed of using my diaries as writing inspiration after retiring from teaching, and thanks to Hilary, that's exactly how it's played out.

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Lucy Pearson's avatar

Loved this! Such a lovely insight into one of my very favourite writers.

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

Same, Lucy :) 💜

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Maybe Lucy for a future issue?

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

LUCY! I love you.

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Tatyana Sussex's avatar

I've been on a no-journal/diary-ing kick for a while, and miss it and yet... just don't. However, the distinction between the two is helpful, and I might go into diary-ing as a way of simply dropping words on a page, feeling pen in fingers and against the page (also like unlined paper). Also, re all the notebooks. from where I sit at my desk, I had four different notebooks at arm's length. I took a photo but can't seem to attach it here. Thank you for this! (Denik notebooks let you custom design your own, from the cover art, to the paper type).

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

Ooooo I want to see the photo!

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Tatyana Sussex's avatar

The Denik on the upper right is the custom-made one. My own photos for the covers, inside and outside. So fun making it. It was hard to write in it at first!

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Wow, I had no idea such a thing was possible!!! Going down rabbit hole now!!

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Tatyana Sussex's avatar

I see the photo didn't appear, but here's the link:

https://denik.com/pages/everyone

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

I’m in love! Thank you :)

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Amy Shearn's avatar

This is so amazing! Thank you Kelly and Joanna ❤️

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Courtney Zanosky's avatar

Loved this! I always wonder how writers use/keep journals and diaries. I could specifically resonate with Joanna's tendency to slip away from keeping a dairy during periods of intense emotional turmoil. I've always wondered why I do that & liked her musing. Fascinating stuff!

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Oh my gosh, it's such a relief to hear that it's not just me! I've always wondered if I was extremely weird for shying away from writing through rough periods, as it seems so many writers do the opposite. But maybe this is the norm??

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Cynthia's avatar

I also don't write in my diary (I like that better than "journal" too!) when I'm feeling really emotional; after my mother died, I wrote once, then not again for close to five years. Now I actually have a notebook on my Ipad - I haven't met anyone else who likes to write on the glass surface (with the apple pen), but it totally works for me! Thanks for this excellent topic and interview, Kelly and Joanna!

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Cynthia, here in Cambridge—where there are so many grad students and tech folks—I see many, many people writing with the Apple pen on their iPads! And I honestly love that idea and am so intrigued.

And this was/is so me, too: during my horrible divorce, I couldn’t write in my journal at all. It took years for me to start again.

I feel like there’s a larger idea here and contemplating asking my psychology professor friends here if they have ideas as to the reasons for this…

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Cynthia's avatar

For me, writing the words "my mother died," probably made it too real - it was after writing those words that I didn't write again for so long...

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

You’re making me realize that I’ve never written those words. And I’ve fully avoided writing about my own mother’s death. And I’m going to be thinking about this all day…

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Courtney Zanosky's avatar

You’re not alone! It might just be the two of us, but I’d bet there’s more. I’ve always thought that it might be because of a decreased capacity during high stress periods. Less emotional and mental range, less room for creativity to unravel/come through. Who knows! 😆

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Kelly McMasters's avatar

I’m 100% in this club, too! Which is strange, because it is probably when we need those spaces the most that we go silent.

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

Do you think it’s that we somehow need to parse and process things in our brains before writing about them?

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Patricia Zaballos's avatar

One of my favorite things, hearing writers talk about their notebooks/diaries/journals! (I keep all three and each is different!) I enjoyed this kickoff—especially hearing a kid call her mom smart 🤓—and can’t wait for the rest of the series.

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

I love this, too, and can’t wait for the rest of the series!!! And, wait, is it weird for a kid to call their parent smart?

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Patricia Zaballos's avatar

Hmmm. I think a lot of kids assume their parents are smart, but hearing a kid note as much suggests a certain independence and wisdom that I think is really cool! Your daughter isn’t just assuming your smartness, she’s recognizing it. 💕

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Joanna Rakoff's avatar

She is a very, very independent kid! Possibly because she’s a third child? But I’m going to be thinking about your comment all afternoon…

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Patricia Zaballos's avatar

Independent third child! I have one of those. He’s 23 now. I think he grew up watching both his parents and his two much older siblings and it made him a really interesting person. I think about that a lot too…

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William Elisabeth Cuthbert's avatar

Joanna, I really enjoyed reading your approach and outlook to journaling, and how it clarified my own. I’m someone else who needs to so I can process my thoughts and feelings, but (because I need plenty of time and space to journal outside of all my other writing) have never been able to be fully consistent.

How do I get in on this? I’d love to do a diary share if I could. Pretty much anything and everything, including bits of novel, goes in mine! And then sometimes my historical fiction accidentally turns out journal-like, which is a fitting reflection of how my mind usually works.

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